Writing as a second language…

I’ve noticed this. When immigrants write English, and when they write it well, they infuse the language with a vigor that oftentimes you don’t see in those that were born with the English ABCs in their mouth. The language usually avoids cliches; it’s given a precise and  fascinating tilt towards the unexpected turn. Once again I’ve noticed this. So today’s episode of Out of the mouth of foreigners comes superb English: “…This is a story about reluctantly thrusting your feet in the face of an older Korean woman when you are Korean and female yourself. And unmarried. And 30. Also, broke. I’m mortified not by ravaged nail beds or metatarsal smashed by hoofing about in fetching heels, but by an anxiety without a term, a spaghetti of issues I can never untangle…” –Mary H.K. Choi, from Going Korean (NY Times Opinionator piece)

Penmanship 101

The writing hand, once writ, can never be deciphered. True enough, which is why these folks–probably users of high-end fountain pens (the kind you see in deluxe writing implements catalogs)–give us the detailed solutions (hint: these techniques require some practice):

Image from article.

Personal note: I have given up on my own penmanship. A mere five minutes after I write something in script it becomes indecipherable, wildly stretched, crumbled hieroglyphic scribblings that, from the purely symbolic perspective, resemble the markings on a map denoting the massacres of Genghis Khan.

Out Celining Celine

A few days ago I finished Celine’s “Journey to the End of the Night,” my second reading of this French novel (translated). Only this edition has a new afterward by novelist William Vollmann. He outdoes Celine. I thought Celine was a pretty pessimistic cynical hemorrhoided writer but Vollmann outdoes him right out of the gate:  “Reader, fuck you!…You think I give a shit whether or not you’ve read this book…”

Good god man, you’re my new Afterward idol. Lt me try a couple of openers like that:

Reader! You little pigshit scum… [wow, I love saying that].

Reader!…You sleazy MFer…

Reader! You dirty slimeball….

I’m sorry, Reader, I gotta stop; I’m getting carried away with invective…