A few days ago I finished Celine’s “Journey to the End of the Night,” my second reading of this French novel (translated). Only this edition has a new afterward by novelist William Vollmann. He outdoes Celine. I thought Celine was a pretty pessimistic cynical hemorrhoided writer but Vollmann outdoes him right out of the gate: “Reader, fuck you!…You think I give a shit whether or not you’ve read this book…”
Good god man, you’re my new Afterward idol. Lt me try a couple of openers like that:
Reader! You little pigshit scum… [wow, I love saying that].
Reader!…You sleazy MFer…
Reader! You dirty slimeball….
I’m sorry, Reader, I gotta stop; I’m getting carried away with invective…
Full Metal Cynic 