DC: what the real headlines should be (in text block form)

Posted: October 4, 2013 in Current events

FLASHMother with baby goes postpartum in car. DC kops piss pants in fear: call in Warthog aircraft with depleted uranium metal-spewing Gatling guns at full throttle. B2s on standby. Obama in bunker in hazmat suit protected by thirty thousand armored human guard dogs and nuclear-powered drones. Mom is a certified dental hygienist who just might be armed with an electric tooth brush. Aircraft carriers moving up Potomac at high speed. Congressmen/congresswomen/congresstransgenders call for hazard pay and recuperative mental trauma reducing ski vacations in Switzerland (when it’s all over)…UNFLASH….STAY TUNEDPS…Baby to be held at Guantanamo.

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