My date suggested seeing Eclipse…

Posted: July 1, 2010 in Movies

I asked my lovely looking date if she wanted to see a movie. She suggested Eclipse. I said I’d rather be stretched out on a rack in the Spanish Inquisition with a masturbating priest dripping molten lead in my eyes and beating my testicles with an iron bar. She asked if I was anti religious. I said yes. She said I should go to church once in awhile. I said OK as long as they’re not playing Eclipse. She asked what I thought I wouldn’t like about the movie. I said I couldn’t stand watching a bunch of creepy teenagers with vampire powers turning into animals using awful CGI effects (I watched the trailer). Result? WANTED: teenage-hating atheist girl who likes film noir.

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