The hideousness of summer

Posted: June 28, 2010 in Current events

It’s bad enough during the summer we have to deal with ticks in the woods, bedbugs in motels, human rodents that leach out of the woodwork and onto the street during heat waves, mosquitoes, rabid squirrels, humidity, the putrid smell of suntan lotion (or oil if you’re in Louisiana), fat slophole bodies in speedos and Wal-Mart bikinis along the Jersey shore, rip tides, and sunburn, which is why, at least during these few months, I always contemplate suicide. Then of curse there’s summer camp lice for the kiddies.

” Is there a mental aspect to treating lice?  Half this job is psychological [the lice expert reveals]. Some people lose all sense of reality when they find lice [I would kill myself]. I had a woman who painted her entire house because she thought the bugs were in the walls. Other people bag up their furniture because they are scared the lice are laying eggs. One woman was so frustrated that she threw a cable box at her husband. We just try to educate them on what the real facts are…”


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