From sports lockout to crime spree? Only in the Grand Banana Republic

“Baltimore Ravens star Ray Lewis told ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio that he believes there will be an increase in crime if the lockout continues into the regular season. The 36-year-old said that people, not just NFL players, will turn to criminal activity without a regular season because ’there’s nothing else to do.’ ” (Here) Full story here.

Bikinis trump religion (always)

God bless bikinis…”The cheerleaders at the beach volleyball might have proved a welcome distraction to spectators at the Asian Games – but not all the competitors are so thrilled. The Yemen [read Islamic] team’s Adeeb Mahfoudh has blamed the girls’ skimpy outfits for putting off her team during a defeat by a more focused Indonesia at the event in China. She said:  ‘They had an effect on how we played. I think they had something to do with our losing the match.’ ” Here (Daily Mail)

Related: Another blast at religion (and another thank God): Will the Afghan Elvis Presley defeat the stone-faced Islamic Taliban? Errrrr, could be, doc. Here.

Soccer of the universe

By Zeus the We are the World crowd is still trying to ram the little kids’ game of soccer (dogeball with feet) down our collective throat. These people are coming at us like the Borg, determined that will will all be hooked up to the collective circuitry of the mother ship. To wit:  “…the rest of the world follows a sport [soccer] that rewards resilience and neuroticism. Soccer is a sport perfectly designed to reinforce a tragic view of the universe, because basically it is a long series of frustrations leading up to near certain heartbreak.”

I would love to look at the flow of  synaptic firings in this guy’s brain. Soccer mirrors the tragic view of the universe? And of course you can see this universe drama unfold in the faces of the spectators (at least when they’re not rioting): “The author Nick Hornby once had the brains to turn around while at an Arsenal match to watch the faces of the fans instead of the game. He observed that over the course of 15 minutes, the fans reflected frustration, rage, bitterness, despair, false hopes and discouragement. That’s because the players are perpetually pushing the ball forward, and it often looks like something is about to happen, but in reality it almost never does.” Yeap, just like the universe. Of course you never see frustration and despair and false hope in the fans of oh, say baseball or football or basketball, right? What drivel.

Read the article here.

Take this ball and shove it (as the song says)

Take this job ball and shove it…I’m so sick of the media shoving soccer (yeah, soccer not football as we know it) down our throats. Soccer is a shit game, mostly played by grammar school girls for mandatory gym classes. The school system likes it because you don’t need any equipment, except maybe for a couple of dinky goal posts. It’s a big stupid game for thugs with foot fetishes. What, except for the goalie, you can’t use your hands (and maybe your head once in a while to show off) ? That’s not a sport.  Baseball is a sport, basketball is a sport. In the digital world soccer’s parallel is pac man, where you can only use your gummy chompers to score.And the scoring crap… oy vey. Steven M. Warshawsky at American Thinker sums it up nicely:  “In my opinion, a lack of scoring is not merely an incidental aspect of the game of soccer —— it is its essence.  That is, the ultimate purpose of soccer is to engage in lots of furious activity to accomplish  . . . absolutely nothing.  Not surprisingly, when that elusive goal is scored (if it is scored), ear—shattering howls of euphoria erupt from players, announcers, and spectators alike, as if their very souls were being released from the depths of hell.” The sport from hell, my sentiment exactly.

Above all, and what is so distasteful about soccer is that it’s a game seized by xenophobia (especially during the World Cup), whether it’s national, racial, or even ethnic, or religious . It’s a game for zealots. It’s parallel in the real world, for example,  is Tutsis VS  Hutus (ethnic), Islam VS Christian or Buddhism (religious), Germany VS England (nationalism). Those in the media that call for soccer to be embraced in the US as our “We are the world pastime” reek from the jingoist/prejudicial stench of the late nineteenth and WWI era of the 20th century.

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The world’s sport: we salute you

It’s a soccer game–quick, to the shelters!

Soccer–Hiroshima and Nagasaki of the sports world

We are the world!

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Soccer–for the love of xenophobia.

ON THE OTHER HAND, there is the bizarre leftist supreme judgement that NOT liking soccer makes you–are you ready?–racist,  anti world, anti paradise, anti galzxy, anti lovey dovey…Here.  For a right-of-center response to this go here.

Tiger in the zoo

More here.

And here’s how Tiger’s pretend friends work (it’s all in a day’s work for these hustling gals…hey, as long as they’re gettin’ paid the bucks).

In all fairness, though, how did the sleazy David Letterman get off so easy in the media? And what about Bill O’Reilly?

Baseball, a monkey wrench–and tuna

“…A new book by a former employee of Alcor, the company that froze Ted Williams’ remains, alleges the baseball Hall of Famer’s body was mistreated by the company. Larry Johnson says in the book ‘Frozen: My Journey Into the World of Cryonics, Deception and Death’ that he watched an Alcor official swing a monkey wrench at Williams’ frozen severed head to try to remove a tuna can stuck to it. The first swing accidentally struck the head, Johnson contends, and the second knocked the tuna can loose…” Article here.

Alas…

Alas, recession takes toll on the women of Roller Derby.  “…Unemployment in the Detroit metro area recently hit 17.7 percent, and Miss Riker, the league president, said the group has lost about a dozen players because of the downturn. It wasn’t always like this for roller derby…” Article here.

Is professional wrestling next?

Catholic sports fest

Worst combination: Religion and soccer. That’s right, combine your religious thugs with your sports thugs and you get this. And to think it all started after the Glasgow Rangers won the Scottish Premier League (yeah, that could bring out the worst in any mob). It’ ain’t pretty.