“Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage”

Most marriages end a lot sooner than 68 years. That’s what should have happened to this one. Stuff builds up. All kinds of stuff. All that lovey-doveyness  dries up quicker than a desert water hole.  A marriage is perhaps good for 5 years at most; this tragic one went on for well over a half century longer than that, evidently festering and bubbling up and finally climaxing like exploding pus in an unhealing sore. Marriage, like belief in sky people, is a cruel and inhuman institution.

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Related: By golly here’s another marriage that went wrong.

Love God Larry

With Larry King’s upcoming divorce you ask the obvious question. Why has Larry been married so many times (nine?), i.e.,  what is it about him that attracts so many beautiful women? Is he the male version of Elizabeth Taylor?  I’ll give you the simple answer: Larry King has the two things all women want in a man: great hair to twirl around their fingers and tons upon tons of money. If being married to Larry is livin’ large than getting divorced from him is really livin’ large. But both parties are happy. Larry gets a great bedmate who makes believe she really likes him (and who changes his diapers on a regular basis)  and she gets an enormous payday from her nursing home duties.

Tiger in the zoo

More here.

And here’s how Tiger’s pretend friends work (it’s all in a day’s work for these hustling gals…hey, as long as they’re gettin’ paid the bucks).

In all fairness, though, how did the sleazy David Letterman get off so easy in the media? And what about Bill O’Reilly?

Hey, anyone see the gov on Craiglist?

Hey, just curious, have any women out there been stalked by Christian  Gov Sanford on Craiglist? By the way, I’d at least like to squelch one rumor going around now: Despite the fact that his wife has thrown him out there is no truth to the ruomr that the gov has been reduced to camping out on the Appalachian Trail.

State of our domestic bliss…

Flash…Girlfriend stabs boyfriend: tried to urinate in her closet while sleepwalking.

Flash…Why your marriage sucks (need we spell it out?).

Flash…Hot crotch governor tours delights of Argentina Trail.

Flash…TV housewife gets sex tape injunction against ex.

Flash… Divorce Expo–hurry up, tickets going fast.

Depression, marriage, divorce

“…Millions of American families may now be in the initial stage of their responses to the current crisis, working together and supporting one another through the early months of unemployment. During the Depression this stage seemed to last a year at most. Today, it might last longer. Wives now share with their husbands the burden of earning money, and the government provides more assistance. But history suggests that this response will be temporary. By 1940 the divorce rate was higher than before the Depression, as if a pent-up demand was finally being satisfied. The Depression destroyed the inner life of many married couples, but it was years before they could afford to file for divorce. Today’s economic slump could well generate a similar backlog of couples whose relationships have been irreparably ruined. So it is only when the economy is healthy again that we will begin to see just how many fractured families have been created…” from Married with Bankruptcy.

Bad financial times aside, it’s amazing to me that the institution of marriage–something that by it’s very nature is bankrupt (as in the joke “till death do you part”–is still alive, that a lot of people will still spend thousands of dollars on something that is most likely bound to fail, either in outright terms (divorce or murder) or hellish coexistence ( as in for the sake of the children or financial dependency). Before you say “I Do” just remember what Andy Warhol might have said, “Everybody will be married for fifteen minutes.”

Yes, mere photo scenarios can mirror real married life

In setting up a wedding photo could that temporary phenomenon known as infatuation ever warrant these scenarios? Yes it could.

“Groom sitting at a faux witness stand, on trial for cadaver trafficking. Someone from wedding part wearing a black robe, holding a gavel, and sitting on a dais. Ethnically diverse guests in the jury box. Bride sitting on jury trading lustful glances with the defendant.”

Of course there is this scenario too, albeit during the honeymoon perhaps (which is about the time the infatuation begins to wear thin and there just ain’t much left):

“Bride is crying. Groom is sitting at a table. In front of him on the table are lines of pure Columbian cocaine, s razorblade, and a tightly rolled $20 bill. Groom is wearing only an undershirt, boxer shorts, and socks, which have holes in them. Wedding rings are off–everything was sold a long time ago to buy blow…Bride is a broken shell of a woman and is tugging on groom’s arm, begging him to stop.”

These two scenarios  are from Frank Ferri (“My Ideas for Staged Photos That Set Me Apart From Other Wedding Photographers”)  at this site.