Rihanna bares breast in nature: but good news, blindness in the innocent was averted

Lo and behold, almighty ones,  Rihanna goes topless on farmer’s field while shooting video and causes rift in the fabric of existence. The stilted old farmer then came upon the scene of corruption on his land and disrupted filming and ordered the sexy singer off  in the name of God.  Nudity of course cannot be tolerated; it can cause blindness in innocent beholders (though God was merciful in this case; there were no incidents of reported blindness or sudden outbreaks of severe acne). Staring at bare breasts can also, so it is said, cause auto-ejaculation in crazy old cogs who have never experienced the fleshier aspects of  the natural world (except maybe for a cow’s milky udder), or at least can’t remember. Here.

The graffiti may be mostly gone but what about the shoe lickers?

Yes, folks, this is a third world subway ride in the Grand Banana Republic.

Related: Talking of mouth stuff take a gander at this all so human story: “…A frantic [Janice] Dickinson got down on all fours like ‘Lucille Ball on crack,’ and coerced the clientele into helping her locate the pearly whites, which, health inspectors-be-damned, were ultimately found.” Great news, huh?

“A cut woman”

I first read, at least in depth, about this Islamic ritual of “cutting women” in Ayaan Ali’s Infidel.

Confessions of a “relationship coach”

”[My husband]  was the man who never read a word of one of my books, no matter how much I begged. He was the man who would not listen to me talk about my work, no matter how much that meant to me. He was the man who got shoe polish all over our new white couch and refused to put a cover on it or take off his shoes. I remember crying on my hands and knees as I tried to wash the shoe polish out, and every stroke of the sponge made it worse. Fifteen years of this and I was still stuck. So, I’ll tell you what finally helped me decide to leave…” I don’t know, it seems to me that for most women the shoe polish incident would’ve done it. This so-called relationship expert”, who had appeared on Oprah numerous times admits she lied about her own marriage (can yo imagine lying to the Queen of TV; iIsn’t that tantamount to perjury or something?) ANYWAY you can rad the rest of this article here. One more thing. When is Dr Phil going to confess?

State of the human condition (cont.’)

Here and here.

Too too too funny…

Picture this: Charlie Sheen’s in the restaurant bathroom with a porn star; he has cocaine all over his face, then he takes his pants off. But evidentially it didn’t work out. “Charlie wanted to have sex with Capri and tried, but she stopped and demanded her $12,000…He didn’t have the money on him so she left him in the bathroom.” Here (NY Daily News).

Back in the day…

Black Muslim assassins have been given the order by Elijah Muhammad. They will kill Malcolm X.

“The first line of defense” (funny stuff)

Rubber room syndrome

”Do you question authority? Fail to accept conventional wisdom?  Lose your temper when you hear a politician make a promise that you know he or she can’t keep?”  Well pal, and here’s the kicker. then you may be outta your friggin’ mind. That’s not my opinion but the the opinion contained in the  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. That surely includes oppositional defiant disorder: Well here’s an example straight from the horse’s mouth:“an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile and defiant behavior toward authority figures.”  There are other disorders too (evidently it’s a long list)… ‘antisocial behavior, arrogance, cynicism [I knew I was a goner] and narcissism.’ Read this article here (Mark Nestmann’s Preserving Your Privacy and Wealth).

Textbook wars

“Students are returning to school this week. But they’re not heading back to class — they’re walking straight into a war zone. Our kids have become cannon fodder for two rival ideologies battling to control America’s future. In one camp are conservative Christians and their champion, the Texas State Board of Education; in the other are politically radical multiculturalists and their de facto champion, President Barack Obama. The two competing visions couldn’t be more different. And the stakes couldn’t be higher. Unfortunately, whichever side wins — your kid ends up losing.” Here

“To make the list in California, books must be scrupulously stereotype free: No textbook can show African Americans playing sports, Asians using computers, or women taking care of children. Anyone who stays in textbook publishing long enough develops radar for what will and won’t get past the blanding process of both the conservative and liberal watchdogs.” Here.

Just say No

“Look at all the pretty colors, man”

Will the government ban digital drugs? Will a SWAT team’s canine unit rip off your earphones (and most likely your ears)? Worry. Worry now, fools.

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Related: Back in the eighties President Reagan and his wife worried about just such a shortage of drugs. Though in those days of course these weren’t digital drugs, but the real thing.

States of the human condition (cont.’)

“I just wanted a multigrain bagel. I refused to say ‘without butter or cheese’.  When you go to Burger King, you don’t have to list the six things you don’t want.” Here.

“One of the most shocking things to me is when a man shows up with candy bars and Skittles in one hand and condoms in the other…” Here.

My pharmacist the witch doctor

Somebody showed me this in her new pharmacy textbook. It’s from the first main page of  Mosby’s Pharmacy Technician: Principles and Practice, in which a list of terms and definitions for the modern scientific pharmacist are given. Take special note of the last entry–shaman. Is that a term that should have a place  in a modern medical textbook?

Apothecary Latin term for pharmacist

Clinical pharmacist Pharmacis who monitors patient medications in inpatient and some retal settings

Dogma Code of beliefs based on tradition rather than fact

Inpatient pharmacy A pharmacy in a hospital or institutional setting

Outpatient pharmacy Community pharmacies or pharmacies in outpatient hospital settings

Pharmacist Person who dispenses drugs and counsels patients

Pharmacy clerk Person who assists the pharmacist at the front counter of the pharmacy; the person who accepts payment for medications

Pharmacy technician Person who assists pharmacist by filling prescriptions and performing other nondispensing tasks

Protocol Set of standards written by hospital or insurnace company for patient treatment

Shaman Medicine person who holds a high place of honor in a tribe

shaman /’amn/, /’em-/
noun (PL. shamans)
a person regarded as having access to, and influence in, the world of good and evil spirits, especially among some peoples of northern Asia and North America. Typically such people enter a trance state during a ritual, and practise divination and healing

Thesaurus: a medicine woman, healer; witch doctor…

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BTW, here are some lyrics to sing while waiting for the shaman to fill your prescription:

I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor
I was in love with you
And then the witch doctor
He told me what to do

He said that

Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang…
Ooo eee ,ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla ,bing bang
Ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bing bang

Today’s political correctness: we keep getting closer to 1984 (make that 2050)

I mean the reports keep coming in. Here’s a few more little pieces of the big picture. Extrapolate, people, extrapolate..:

Item: “Project Vigilant is clearly nothing less than a government controlled attack dog fulfilling its role to implement the cybersecurity agenda, which…has nothing to do with security and everything to do with political oppression, Chinese style Internet censorship, and the total evisceration of free speech on the world wide web…” Here and here.

Item: “Minority Report” billboards. Here.

Item: “…Those who understand the exploitative nature of big government suspected that the U.S. response to the 9/11 attacks had little to do with the security of the American people and much to do with power and money. Still, the magnitude of the scam, as revealed by the Washington Post last week, is astonishing…” Here.

Political correctness, newspeak. Of course in the great handbook of 1984 we have the temporal perameters: “Newspeak was the official language of Oceania and had been devised to meet the ideological needs of Ingsoc, or English Socialism. In the year 1984 there was not as yet anyone who used Newspeak as his sole means of communication, either in speech or writing. The leading articles in the Times were written in it, but this was a tour de force which could only be carried out by a specialist. It was expected that Newspeak would have finally superseded Oldspeak (or Standard English, as we should call it) by about the year 2050. Meanwhile it gained ground steadily, all Party members tending to use Newspeak words and grammatical constructions more and more in their everyday speech. The version in use in 1984, and embodied in the Ninth and Tenth Editions of the Newspeak Dictionary, was a provisional one, and contained many superfluous words and archaic formations which were due to be suppressed later. It is with the final, perfected version, as embodied in the Eleventh Edition of the Dictionary, that we are concerned here…” –The Principles of Newspeak

State of the human condition (cont.’)

“…Laquita Mattox rubbed a finger along the victim’s butt crack, prompting her to clench her buttocks…” And we all know that clenching can cause the bed you’re sitting on to break…” We further know that clenching can lead to a terrible  knife fight: “Are you ready to die?”. Here.

Change of heart syndrome

The Maldives island republic in the Indian Ocean where it is illegal NOT to be Muslim…so when a Maldivian named Mohamed Nazim renounced Islam during a lecture, he “was attacked by members of the audience, then led off under arrest by police. A few days later it was reported that he’d had a change of heart while in police custody and publicly apologized for his atheistic apostasy…” Of course we can only guess why he had a change of heart (but I think we get the picture). Here.

Overrated?

OK the video tease isn’t that great but the book (Overrated: The 50 Most Overhyped Things in History, by Mark Juddery) referenced here certainly looks pretty interesting.

The author’s blog on the subject.

Is baseball overrated? Now I love baseball but the author makes a case for its overratedness here.

Death in the woods

“…While there was much that was disturbing about Raoul Moat, there was also something to recognise. Just like Derrick Bird, Moat seemed to embody the almost-nuclear frustration of the failed male. Ego-driven, soured, festooned with the trappings of cliched machismo (steroids, guns). And once they explode, that sense of quasi-cinema, as if everything that happens (hiding out, taunting police, blowing your own brains out) could double as a scene from a Bruce Willis action drama…” Here.

The complexities of controlling emotion

“…Research in the past few years has found that people develop a variety of psychological tools to manage what they express in social situations, and those techniques often become subconscious, affecting interactions in unintended ways. The better that people understand their own patterns, the more likely they are to see why some emotionally charged interactions go awry — whether from too little control or, in the president’s case, perhaps too much…Psychologists divide regulation strategies into two broad categories: pre-emptive, occurring before an emotion is fully felt; and responsive, coming afterward. The best known of the latter category, and one of the first learned, is simple suppression. First-graders will cover a smile with their hand when a classmate does something embarrassing; in time, many become far more adept, reflexively masking surprise, alarm, even rage with a poker face.” Here.

Pavlov’s lefties…

I haven’t seen Sex in the City (1 or 2); I just can’t get into that silly blather of fashioned images and what I suspect is a lot of dipsy (i.e., dippy/tipsy)  talk. But somehow the movie has hit the Super Left’s phobics meter: Islamophobic, homophobic, multiculturalphobic (manphobic?), peopleofcolorphobic, sensitivityphobic,  witphobic, goodtastephobic, etc… It’s left them salivating like Pavlov’s canine volunteers, to wit:

Hollywood.com: “…Before leaving Abu Dhabi, the increasingly loathsome quartet become involved in a mishap that ends with Samantha … in the middle of a busy town square, holding up a package of condoms, thrusting her hips and s houting, “I have sex!!!” as the Muslim call to prayer is sounded. Sex and the City 2 won’t win any awards (save for a few Razzies), but it could become an effective inspirational video for suicide bombers[.]…”

Huh? “I have sex” Suicide bombers? Well, Leftists are soooooo sensitive when it comes to their lovey-dobey  support of culturally (and officially) designated oppressive gender apartheid systems today. When brutal fascistic “native cultures” from the dark ages are placed in the realm of multiculturalism they’re  beautiful things of beauty and value.

Anyway here’s an article on this very subject from Big Hollywood.

Animal cruelty pathology

“…animal cruelty has long been recognized as a signature pathology of the most serious violent offenders. As a boy, Jeffrey Dahmer impaled the heads of cats and dogs on sticks; Theodore Bundy, implicated in the murders of some three dozen people, told of watching his grandfather torture animals; David Berkowitz, the “Son of Sam,” poisoned his mother’s parakeet…” Example of the current trend:  Baltimore:  “…a 2-year-old female pit bull terrier was doused in gasoline and set alight. A young city policewoman on her regular patrol of the neighborhood of boarded-up row houses and redbrick housing developments turned her squad car onto the 1600 block of Presbury Street and saw a cloud of black smoke rising from the burning dog. She hopped out, ran past idle onlookers and managed to put out the flames with her sweater. The dog, subsequently named Phoenix, survived for four days with burns over 95 percent of her body, but soon began to succumb to kidney failure and had to be euthanized…” Read rest of article here.

The neverending “Lottery”

“…The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green. The people of the village began to gather in the square, between the post office and the bank, around ten o’clock; in some towns there were so many people that the lottery took two days and had to be started on June 2th. but in this village, where there were only about three hundred people, the whole lottery took less than two hours, so it could begin at ten o’clock in the morning and still be through in time to allow the villagers to get home for noon dinner… “

When I first read this short story, “The Lottery”  by Shirley Jackson when I was sixteen or seventeen, it was like reading all the absurdities of  grotesque historical (especially religiously contextual) traditions rolled into a few hundred words. Here.

Though history is full of  challenges to blind dogma as–for example, keyed in the sentence, “They do say,” Mr. Adams said to Old Man Warner, who stood next to him, “that over in the north village they’re talking of giving up the lottery.”– and though  many times challenges are eventually translated into actual positive change–”Some places have already quit lotteries.” Mrs. Adams said.”– history always remains a slave to the iirrational nstincts of human nature, and dogmatic reality always reasserts itself. Incredibly, and ironically desplaying the small mind set of the masses,when this story was first published in the New Yorker in 1948, the author received an “avalanche” of hate mail, along with cancelled subscriptions. People considered the story an attack on small town American values.

Beyond the valley of blowup dolls: sexbots coming of age

Well it’s a start. Japan’s been going full steam ahead in the sexy robot field but now a New Jersey company claims “the world’s first sex robot“–life-sized rubber doll “that’s designed to engage the owner with conversation rather than lifelike movement.” I’ve always been fascinated by gorgeous androids in movies (can’t wait for human/robot domestic partnerships–well, all that’s in the future when they’re really developed, including that all important lifelike movement). As robots become more and more sophisticated they will be indistinguishable from actual human behavior. Anyway the one below is well, pretty hot (sort of); I mean they have the figure down right…And keep in mind “Owners will … be able to select different personalities for Roxxxy, from ‘Wild Wendy’ to ‘Frigid Farrah’ …” You’re looking at about seven to eight thousand for the one below. See article here.

And look at this face–just like my girlfriend’s during orgasm.

Related:

Hey I have some past posts on this topic but can’t find them right now so here’s some others:

Why men one day will need a robot woman.

Sex and Love with Robots: The Evolution of of Human-Robot Relationships

Lesbian robots (I think)

HOT

Oh man what a bod!

Oh man mercy me

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Lovely! A perfect woman for all seasons

Note to real women: don’t get all jealous now and try attacking one of these sexy fembots; they are powerful enough to crush a 747 in mid flight!

The dying game

“…But the morning after he died I found a list of instructions on his desk. No. 5: “My body is to be placed in a plain pine box. I would like my children to make the box.”… Rest of article here. You don’t have to go to the link; all it’s about is writer William Manchester’s willed request to his family that when he dies he wants them to build his pine casket with their own hands. Just a bunch of hubris really. This loosely reminds me though of what Bill Gates said about his will: his children aren’t in it; the billions won’t go to them. What bullshit. Let me tell you something, if I had a father worth tens of billions and he announced he wasn’t leaving it to me when he kicked rest assured  the police would never find his body.

Accidents, sirens, and ghouls

A pickup truck lay in the northbound lanes, its windshield shattered. A short distance away was 50-year-old Ferdinand Ramirez Villaneuva, whose head had landed about a dozen feet from his body. Even for veteran police officers, seeing a dismemberment up close is unusual – so unusual that one officer snapped a grisly photo of the mutilated body with his camera phone and sent it to someone. It’s unclear how many others saw the photo, but eventually it traveled to people who have no connection to the accident, or to the man who died. I think it’s pretty sick to take pictures of crime scenes when it’s not part of your job,” Ramsey said. “It’s ghoulish. And I can’t figure out why you would want to remember some of that stuff. It’s bad enough that you have to see it in the first place.” Read rest of this article here.

Death VS meaningless factory work: death wins

The Foxconn suicides: “Life is meaningless,” said Ah Wei, his fingernails stained black with the dust from the hundreds of mobile phones he has burnished over the course of a 12-hour overnight shift. “Everyday, I repeat the same thing I did yesterday. We get yelled at all the time. It’s very tough around here.” Conversation on the production line is forbidden, bathroom breaks are kept to 10 minutes every two hours and constant noise from the factory washes past his ear plugs, damaging his hearing, Ah Wei said. The company has rejected three requests for a transfer and his monthly salary of 900 yuan ($132) is too meager to send money home to his family, said the 21-year-old, who asked that his real name not be used because he is afraid of his managers. Read more of this article here.

State of the human condition…

Workers at an American dairy farm  beat cows with crowbars, stab them with pitchforks and punch them in their heads. Here.

Sorority capers (love it or leave it)

The new Cheers? Who says sorority girls can’t throw a wild party (not me): plates as  missiles, vomit on carpets, defecation in urinals, clothes [almost] torn off bartender, engaging in sexual congress while surrounded by a cheering throng, bathroom sink broken (well, after all this can happen when a sorority girl and her date have sex on said sink), students totally obliterated,  behaving like immature children… Get all the tantalizing details right here…By the way, I’m going to go in search of posted videos of this for the next 56 hours non stop.

Female Biology is Cute Series: early PMS

“Please, dear, enough fun time, you’ve just shot your two-timing father several times in the head already.”

Men who stare at LSD (not just goats)

“…Initially funded by the Navy, the project set out to study the effects of brain concussion. Soon after, scientists noted that a blow to the head prompted amnesia, leading to the pursuit of a drug-based technique to ‘induce brain concussion … without physical trauma.’ Shortly thereafter, the project was transferred entirely to the CIA, because it involved ‘human experiments’ … not easily justifiable on medical-therapeutic grounds…” Here.

Related:

MK-ULTRA

Secret drug experiments on GIs

Project MKULTRA

Words to live by (sort of)

Tracy Morgan says, “…Don’t you think I’m scared? Every day, motherfucker. But I got to do my job. You got to be scared. ‘Cause if you ain’t scared, you got no need for guts. It take guts for you to come up to my house with food. It take guts just to come out your door — you don’t know what the fuck gonna happen out there, man…” He said it well. You never know what awaits you…hell, just staying behind your door can be pretty bad–you don’t know what’s gonna  happen, right? Behind the door I mean. Right?

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Related (mastering fear ain’t easy, as in fear of fear, as in dry mouth, as in foaming mouth, as in the intense need to urinate when you don’t even have to…being in front of a crowd will do it): “Since the book came out, people have asked me: so, having written this book about fear, you must be really brave. My answer to that is: no, unfortunately understanding fear in a rational, logical way does absolutely nothing to help you maintain control over the powerful, ancient fear centers that lie deep in our brain. This truth was brought home to me vividly yesterday as I stood up to give a talk at the Googleplex, Google’s corporate office in Mountain View, California.  They videotaped it, and I understand that they’re going to post it on Youtube….Logically, I knew what was happening. Subconscious awareness of all these watching eyes was awakening my social fear response. My amygdala was on fire. My mouth was dry, my tongue sluggish. Worse, my brain was sludge. It was like going from cable modem to dial-up. The ideas just weren’t there. Or the words. I started to feel faint. I wondered: what if I totally lose it? What if I just pass out?…” Read the rest here (see Extreme Fear: The Science of Your Mind in Danger).

Religious Kool-aiders strike again…

Instilling  fear and trembling in the hearts of the mighty American cartoon world.

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Related: Live Feed asks, Is “Muhammad” now considered a dirty word?–”…Last night, “South Park” continued the controversial Muhammad storyline, but with a key difference: every instance of the words “Prophet Muhammad” was bleeped out, making the episode practically incomprehensible, especially to anybody who missed the previous week…”

(Also see Jon Stewart on freedom of speech as it relates to this South Park episode as it origianally aired without the censorship.)

Tehran’s  police chief  warns, “Women with suntans are violating Islamic law and will be arrested.” Read here.

The “necessary psychology” of battle

“…In recent days, many veterans have made the point that fighters cannot do their jobs without creating psychological distance from the enemy. One reason that the soldiers seemed as if they were playing a video game [the recent and now infamous Wikileaks video] is that, in a morbid but necessary sense, they were…” Here.

And the survey says…

“…Of the 1,178 women surveyed on the website Good Surgeon Guide, 78 per cent named Cheryl their inspiration and nearly a third said it was due to her ‘natural beauty’. What about her hair extensions, new teeth and fake tan? Surely, we should be saluting a Nobel Prize winner, a great novelist or a courageous human rights activist? Instead, true female achievement is being ignored in favour of a pretty little sexpot who made her name on a reality TV show…” Here.

Will a guru’s religious boast rise to the occasion? (Hint: nope)

“When a famous tantric guru boasted on television that he could kill another man using only his mystical powers, most viewers either gasped in awe or merely nodded unquestioningly. Sanal Edamaruku’s response was different. ‘Go on then — kill me,’ he said…’ ” Here.

(Note: Now I’m certainly not claiming to be a religious healer (or killer) with mystical powers or anything, you know with the  powers of say, God’s Healers  Benny Hinn and Pat Robertson or the guru referenced above, but evidently I do have some powers….not long ago I put my hand over my limp penis and lo and behold it rose.)

Back to the future…

Remember reading about the 1960′s Milgram experiment? It’s baaaaaaack…but now it’s a game show.

“With a glamorous hostess, a roaring crowd and an enthusiastic group of contestants, it has all the trappings of a traditional television quiz show. But fake game show Zone Xtreme – which airs in France today – has a very sinister twist. Instead of taking part in innocent contests, participants are ordered to deliver near fatal electric shocks to their rivals. Astonishingly, 81 per cent of people who took part were persuaded to dole out increasing shocks to ‘victims’, despite their howls of pain…” Here.

Facebook venting

” ‘…Mr. Gower replied by calling his fiancée a name that can’t be printed here, until the exchange became the social networking equivalent of shattered china at a dinner party. Eventually, Skyler Hurt, 22, a friend and a bridesmaid, intervened: “Hey, you guys know we can still see this right …?” For most couples, the temptation to publicly slander each other is overpowered by the instinct to prove to their friends how happy they are, reality notwithstanding. But for others, arguing in front of others comes as naturally as slamming doors… ‘ “  Here.

“1 volume encyclopedia…”

From across the digital divide comes–Youtube comment  pleasantries for your humble enjoyment…

“…you’re the fag 4 hiding behind a queer username dozydoodles 2 attack people w/ fighting words like a coward! U lucky I just won $10,000 or I’d hunt u down & shove a 1 volume encyclopedia up yur throat–u r a fuck thing whatever U are male female she/he..fuc off if u know what’s good for U & dont contact me…I wish I could foc yur mom, yur aunt, & your grandma on the beach while you’re tied up-Older babes like your mom & aunt need the sand pounded off their hairy pussies, right, dozydick?…”

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Comment analysis with the intention of indicating possible suggestions of improvement for communication purposes.

“up yur throat” ??? Isn’t that supposed to be down…?

What’s a fuck thing? Isn’t that a blowup doll?

Reduncancy: “male female she/he”…

“don’t contact me” (?) Don’t worry about that.

“tied up-Older babes” You mean tied up cougars?  Then say cougars.

“sand pounded off their hairy…” Evidently this is synonymous with the term “intense copulation on the beach.”

The relationship

Incubating the dynamic (works for me)

Titanic VS Lusitania

“…When the Titanic sank, the safety of women and children came first. But when the Lusitania went down three years later, it was a case of survival of the fittest. A painstaking analysis of passenger data from the two vessels revealed that captain’s orders to allow women and children off first were adhered to when the Titanic hit an iceberg on her maiden voyage on April 14, 1912.  But when the Lusitania was torpedoed by a German submarine off the coast of Ireland three years later, it was a case of every man for himself.  More precisely, men and women aged between 16 and 35 were most likely to push their way to safety, the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reports. The difference in behaviour, the researchers believe, lies not in who was on the ships, but how quickly they went down…” Story here.

Love this video (again)

I’ve posted this video before and I’m posting it again. Why? Because it’s that good, that awesome (now don’t panic, but some of these people could be your neighbors.) I watch it every night before bedtime.

The way of the world since 4 billion BC

You see, Henry Fonda does not like harmonica music and what makes matters worse, well Charles Bronson only knows one tune on his little mouth organ.

“The God Fraud”

From the pen of Sam Harris: “I can’t quite remember how we got it into our heads that jihad was linked to violence. (Might it have had something to do with the actual history and teachings of Islam?) And how could we have been so foolish as to connect the apparently inexhaustible supply of martyrs in the Muslim world to the Islamic doctrine of martyrdom? In my own defense, let me say that I do get spooked whenever Western Muslims advocate the murder of apostates (as 36 percent of Muslim young adults do in Britain). But I now know that these freedom-loving people just “want to see God reflected more clearly in public life…I will call my friend Ayaan Hirsi Ali at once and encourage her to come out of hiding: Come on out, dear. Karen says the coast is clear. As it turns out, those people who have been calling for your murder don’t understand Islam any better than we do.”

The man has a point here…

“Turning 102 is crap, and there is nothing to commemorate.” Well said. Turning 102 is crap. It’s a terrible thing; it means the end is now ticking away in hours, possibly minutes. To celebrate such an occasion, to be conscious of this instant, would be misery. Better to think of the very present. Look neither left nor right, up or down. Here.

Towards the end of life the best your gonna get is a few flashbacks (and that’s a fact)

From the Bubba HoTep movie a few years ago (you know the one, Bruce Campbell as an old Elvis).

Al Gore: Artful Third Grade Poet

Al Gore: Artful Third Grade Poet

If you’ve ever read school kids’ third or fourth grade poetry, especially about the environment, the mawkish lines below by Al Gore must seem familiar. I don”t know what ‘s more disturbing, that this guy is taken seriously by university professors and media anchors or to read in Vanity Fair that these ” lines  of verse…are equal parts beautiful, evocative, and disturbing.” Are you kidding me? Whatever happened to critical  literary intellect? Note to Vanity Fair Magazine: these lines were written by a grown man! for goddsakes. That’s what should be disturbing.

Here’s how the vaunted VF starts off introducing the “poem”:  ”Here’s how the poem begins” In other words: Here we go, boys and girls. Are you ready for an epic? Do you all have your thinky caps on?

One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as Fever settles on an acid sea

At this point the VF writer (Mark Gertsgaard) does a bit of a scolding double take: “It’s odd that none of the reviews of Our Choice have mentioned this poem. Even my old friend Bill McKibben, the dean of America’s climate journalists, didn’t see fit to mention it, though Bill himself wrote a column a couple of years ago pleading for poets, musicians, and other artists to bring their talents to bear in the climate fight.”

That’s because the poem (cover your ears, kiddies) is a purple piece of infantilism. Evidently the old friend, Mr. McKibben (aka the Dean), read this crock and, well… passed.

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea

Vapors? Like vapors rising in “Plan Nine from Outer Space”. Scary stuff; that will get us thinking about the planet.  And that fever thing…Fever settles on an acid sea? Scar-eeee.  No, not the words themselves, but the fact that no one had the prudence to take away Gore’s crayons as he wrote this crappola.

The next lines indicate what the VF reviewer calls “surprisingly accomplished, nuanced …writing. The images Gore conjures in his “…poem turn a neat trick: they are visually specific and emotionally arresting even as they are scientifically accurate…”

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning’s celebration

Those lines are surprisingly accomplished and nuanced? Is this a joke? In the back of my mind I’m figuring just maybe the reviewer is really being satiric. I mean how can such plopped-on-paper cheap symbols be nuanced?

Visually specific? Why, any adjective/noun grouping is visually specific. Was the reviewer out of school that day, you know, the day where the class discussed the adjective/noun group?

Scientific? What is remarkably scientific about snow gliding from a mountain? Well maybe he’s talking about gravity. But Newton told us all this, and all he had was a gliding apple.

“Kindling is placed in the forest for the lightning’s celebration.” Talk about cheapo symnbolism. And how is this visual pairing scientific? Lightning celebrates (well, maybe after a few beers …)?  Don’t you just hate when someone gives lightning an anthropomorphic context? How about lightning’s conflagration instead? It’s still a cheap disescription but it’s sure as hell better than celebration. Symbolism sure can suck in the hands of a grownup masquerading as a third grade literary figure (or maybe I mean third grader masquerading as an adult) . Anyway, kindling’s been in the forest for a long time now and the only celebration about it has come from the kindling gatherers.

Ah, but our obsequious VF reviewer begins to sober up from PC stupor, at least for a moment: “It’s usually a mistake to read too much literal meaning into poetry…” Yeah. But then he gets all gooey again over these lines:

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

Picture a sobbing scene right about now: “Is Gore himself that shepherd?” this trepid reviewer asks.  (The Llord is my Shepard; I shallnot want…) Yes, this apostle cries: “we do have the tools to survive—if we choose to employ them.”

And there you go. Meanwhile, Al Gore’s electric meter at home keeps spinning at 40,000 rpms (er, remember that controversy?) Hey you know what im thinking? Maybe Gore actually wrote this when he was in the third grade. I’ll have to check.

Returnees…

Cynicism rears its ugly beautiful head… “…[How far] I had sunk in my cynicism!… Tragically, over time, I became infected with the belief that our foreign, undeclared wars and endless militarism were destroying America, and this made rolling the dice again extremely difficult…”

Now for the beautifully cynical part:

“May I have your attention, please,” she announced, “these soldiers and sailors are returning from Iraq. Please be so kind and welcome them home.” Every man, woman and child in the terminal faced us and offered thunderous applause. I felt punched in the gut. The utter reverence was more than my indifference could bear. It had served me so well throughout my deployment. I’d been playing a part — pretending to be a herald of democracy and pretending the scores of millions of reconstruction dollars I personally helped manage were anything other than a bribe from an Army that pretended Afghanistan was a threat to the United States and for a government pretending it could afford its vast military empire. I didn’t know know the terminal was full of actors as well. It broke my heart. My face grew hot.

The above article is from the “N.Y. Times” here.

Sad story: today’s uber women now passionless in the age of uber sex

First there was centuries of patriarchal religious and social subjugation of women, then they didn’t have the right to vote or curse in public or spit on the sidewalk and then there’s been all those breast cancer scares and now—this:  “persistently or recurrently deficient (or absent) sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity” among eliteist women.”

Oh sweet lord. What to do what to do they ask hungrily.

These are women, as a “NY Times Magazine” article spells out,  who want to want…Want to want what? Women who want to want desire. And when do they want to want it? Soon. Very soon.

“At her group therapy sessions for women despairing of low sexual desire, therapist Lori Brotto likes to pass around a plastic tub of raisins. The women, usually six to a group, sit around two pushed-together beige tables in a fluorescently lighted conference room at the British Columbia Center for Sexual Medicine in Vancouver. A little potted tree is jammed randomly in one corner. Ragged holes scar one wall where a painting used to hang. The décor doesn’t speak of sensuality. That is the job of the raisin.”

Raisins? Yes. Pure Genius. This is therapy at it most sublime. Raisins. It’s so simple its beautiful “I’d like you to start by examining your raisin…Study its shape, its contours, its folds. Touch the raisin with a finger. Look into the valleys and peaks, the highlights and dark crevasses. Lift the raisin to your lips.”

Oh sweet lord I just got an erection. And over raisins for chrissakes. But the rasin of course must be intently symbolic (if these girls could just, you know, adaquately visualize the it as symbol). There’s more. Remember, with a rasin you can’t eat just one (which is a line I believe from a potato chip company).

So here they are, a room of passionless women who want to want.  Raisin-as-libido-fruit consciousness raising. Do they get the message? Do they feel now the raisin bursting. Can they feel the love. The self  love. Raisin as symbol? I wonder if the Beatles are playing in the background (if not, it’s a good gooey idea).  I Want to Hold Your Hand…I Saw Her Standing There (although in that song “she was just seventeen if you know what I mean”—and these babes I presume are older).

Here comes more symbolic intent… “ they are instructed… to place the raisins in their mouths, to ‘notice where the tongue is, notice the saliva building up in your mouth [wow it sure is doing it for me]. . . notice the trajectory of the flavor as it bursts forth [oh yeah], the flood of saliva [I'm drooling I'm droolin], how the flavor changes from your body’s chemistry.’ ”

As a guy what guilt I feel.  I just got off with merely reading this raisin part of the therpay and these hungry wanting wives of the elite or women who are the elite are still hungry, groping through the webs of mental sexual dysfunction therapy: “I want to feel horny. I want to want.” They shout it. They cry it out loud: We want to want–Desire.

Raisin therapy is merely the intro. It will not in itself produce the end result of the wanting to want syndrome. Psych doesn’t work that fast. There’s more goodies to come.  We want to feel IT… Alas, the terapist must make an attempt to go beyond raisin babble into that old standbye—yoga:

“She went through her usual yoga poses, but with ‘a cognitive reframe,’…She told herself, ‘over and over like a mantra,’ that she was an especially sexual woman, ‘capable of a high level of desire, a high level of response.’ And, she recalled, “there was a deliberate intent not only to listen to my body even more than I normally would in yoga but also to interpret the signs from my body as signs of my sexual identity. So my breathing was not just breathing…it was breathing because I was highly sexual.”

Beautifully put (it also gave me another erection).

Porn movies follow. They’re boring.

They still want to want. The women still want to want Desire.

As they work through the hierarchy of inner-self sexual self-discovery what is the key to success, the one super electrifying synaptic charge that will unfold the body like a flower? Think shudders, violent uncontrollable shaking; think  with sexual desire like the killer purr of a big cat.

Where are we headed girls? Right here. To a truth, the, er, the simple E=MC2 formula of lust. Here it is—“desire follows arousal.” Get aroused and you got what? Desire. Ladies, write it down quick in your little notebook. And remember, it all started with a rasin. Yes, of course. Arousal. But then again these women could’ve found that out by spitting those rasins out in the early session and going outside and asking  just about anybody on the street: Pardon me a moment please, would you mind telling me what follows arousal? Certainly you poor passionless sexual knave: Desire follows arousal.

The wanting part is really wanting arousal because why? Because arousal will lead to desire. See? It’s downright mathematically logical. And to think it started with raisins.  And so we can assume now at the end of the therapy sessions they found a modicum of arousal technique. The big question is: What comes after desire? Desire requires an object.  Problem is, the object of their aroused desire may not be aroused to desire them in return.

Arousal. Desire. Object. But isn’t there a little pill for all this nowadays you can take with a glass of water, something, say the size of a rasin?

Note: I’m trying not to laugh but did you know theres a book out there called “The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys Into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing.” Sounds like its from someone who’d write that “NY Times” article linked above.

Headline NY Times decided not to run

After much debate the Times decided not to run this headline.

“Kissing camels” and other bizarre notions

This has to be one of the most bizarre creepy anti-semitic videos I’ve ever seen. It calls into question the speaker’s sanity; I mean, come on, is he narrating from a rubber room somewhere in the desert?

On that kissing camel part– I think there was some tongue involved. Yes, by god, there was definitely some tongue.