Interested in the history of Chinese cinema in the Grand Banana Republic? Try Hollywood Chinese (includes a short clip).
Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
Tags: Chinese cinema
The stinkin’ doublecross, in which Dix (Sterling Hayden), a hard character to be sure, pulls his gun real fast, and puts some lead through the lowdown conniving pumper of a trigger happy doublecrosser. Yeah, Dix takes a slug through his right side but most importantly he recoups the jewels for Doc Riedenschneider (“One way or another, we all work for our vice”). In my humble opinion the best scene in the film noir masterpiece, The Asphalt Jungle)
Hey embedding for this has been terminated, but you can still watch it directly on Youtube.
I’m a B-movie fan, especially of the old sci fi genre, and well, sadly I just read about Yvette Vickers (81), of Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman fame (I recently saw this again; I don’t think she was the fifty foot woman herself–she was the other woman, the party girl floozy, in the movie, the one that got the fifty foot woman so jealously vengeful), being found mummified in her home the other day. Evidently she had been dead for a year before being found. RIP
Check this article on some other B actresses who are no longer with us. “…The larger-than-life star of this cult Russ Meyer [Faster Pussycat--Kill Kill] movie passed away from heart failure earlier this year at 72. She had a tough childhood in Chicago, where she was raped aged just nine by five men. In 1973 Tura [Satana] was shot by a drug-crazed ex but survived. In 1981 she was hit by an unlicensed driver, at 60mph in a 25mph zone. She was in hospital for two years…” .
“………..too many damsels attend [Tyler] Perry’s productions with the sole intent of receiving the type of male love and affection they don’t or won’t get at home. Like the recluse after an ejaculation, most of Perry’s fans leave the movie theater with pleasant thoughts and visual orgasms that instantly expire the very moment they reach the auditorium’s exit doors…” Here.
Related: Here’s a little on the Spike Lee Tyler /Perry feud (touches on the same concerns as the article above).
Girl showing off some cashmere sweaters to her excited daddy.
Lord Love a Duck (nothing to do with Howard the Duck). I first saw this excerpt the other night on Netflix streaming in a documentary called American Grindhouse. Yes, hilarious. (BTW, evidently cashmere has this strange effect on men–remember Ed Wood in Glen or Glenda.)
Tags: Cuban healthcare, Healthcare, Michael Moore, Sicko
I watched Michael Moore’s Sicko not too long ago and thought the problems it depicted of many Americans (i.e., residents of the Grand Banana Republic] trying to get decent medical treatment were quite accurate. They are still accurate. My problem with the film was that he showcased Cuba’s healthcare system as something enviable (not necessarily Utopian but at least a very good alternative to what we have here in the Grand Banana Republic). Here’s another view of the Cuban healthcare system: it ain’t pretty.
A lot of Afghan women, like the beautiful actress above, are trying to break out of their religious prison but their shariaist society makes it extremely difficult (like this unfortunate actress). After all, this is just a small part of the mindset they’re living under:
“Allah permits you to shut them (women) in separate rooms and to beat them, but not severely. If they abstain, they have the right to food and clothing. Treat women well for they are like domestic animals and they possess nothing themselves.
“If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, take the evidence of four witnesses from amongst you against them; if they testify, confine them to houses until death [by starvation] claims them.”
“The Prophet said, ‘Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?’ The women said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is because of the deficiency of a woman’s mind.’”
“In hell I saw women hanging by their breasts. They had fathered bastards.”
“And for those who launch a charge against their wives, accusing them, but have no witnesses or evidence, except themselves; let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies, (swearing four times) by Allah that he is the one speaking the truth.”
These quotes were collected from here (Bare Naked Islam). Now of course you can find very similar things in the Old Testament, the difference being that even Orthodox Jews of the Torah and Christians today have long since moved on from acting on such monstrous beliefs. More quotes here.
Tags: Ozarks, Winter's Bone
“Jessup “was electric on crank, thrilled to have been shot, and instead of driving to a doctor, he drove 30 miles to … the Tiny Spot Tavern to show his assembled buddies the glamorous bullet hole and the blood bubbling.’ ” And there’s also this quote: “She must trudge from house to cabin through the woods to ask some mighty scary meth cookin’ members of her own family if they know where her father can be found — and they might kill her just for asking.” Here. (Remember, this is not just a movie but a novel, and there are subtle differences.)
Psycho chicks go wild (notice the lack of conscience and common decency)
Please do not marry one of these types of women.
I haven’t seen Catfish yet (I’m way way behind in movies), but here’s a piece of review: “…In addition, it is films like these that self-reflexively exemplify the meaning of Catfish’s title. Angela’s husband tells a story of how catfish were added to shipments of live cod, in order to keep the cod alert and their bodies fit. Without them, their flesh turned to mush. Catfish are there in real life, too, to help keep people on their toes…” Here (Big Hollywood)
“Sonia Nassery Cole knew that shooting a movie on location in Afghanistan could get her killed. The most vivid reminder came a few weeks before filming, she said, when militants located her leading actress and cut off both of her feet…” Here (The NY Times).
Lie back and relax, ninnies, with the first color film; after all, there are at least a few weeks left till the economic apocalypse ( I forget, considereing the gravity implied by such a word, should I capitalize apocalypse?)
I can’t say I’m a Newt Gingrich fan–in fact I’ve never even liked him– as such but this excerpt from his America At Risk looks pretty good–and accurate.
Oh boy actor Don–Miami Vice– Johnson is sososososo happy his co-star Lindsay Lohan from Machete is out of rehab. Oh boy he is SO happy. Here, I’ll quote: “God bless her. I care about her as a person.” Nothing like a person caring for someone as a, er… person. Yeah, you gotta admire the man for his feelingness. And let’s not forget actor Danny Trejo: “She’s in control, she is professional, and she can really bring it.” Not bring it on, mind you, just bring it. Yeah, let’s be honest; there is nothing like being able to bring it. Yeah. Hey, we should all bring it. Bring it, I say: Bring it. BRING IT. It’s like being there, but bringing it. And what about the director of Machete (Robert Rodriguez, the guy behind Planet Terror)? “She is going to be very happy. This is the best thing for her right now, to see this movie.” Well it’s obviously the best thing for everybody right now, what with the economy and all. Yeah. Happy happy…
Tags: Corporations, Documentaries, The yes Men
“We trust you appreciate the importance of avoiding confusion among the public concerning Canadian governmental affairs and that you will assist us in preventing this hoax from spreading further.” Here. Don’t forget The Yes Men Fix the World (I watched it on Netflix Streaming). You may not agree with all the Yes Men’s conclusions but they are inventively hilarious and their dupes are spectacular. Caution: these forays into deception are not corporate friendly.
Tags: Capitalism, Economy
I watched this documentary the other night on Netflix Streaming. Incredibly, the U.S. is even worse off now than it was when Moore made this film.
Some items of corroboration
“…What do you think this woman does when the guy with the scary smile she’s just bumped into at the airport murders every other passenger in mid-air, along with the flight crew, crashes the plane into a cornfield, drugs her, breaks into her apartment, undresses her, shoots her fireman boyfriend and carries on killing dozens more people, many of them federal government agents, before drugging her again, stripping her again and carting her off to an island in the Azores?…” That’s right, you have a really ridiculous plot that doesn’t work, despite good actors But thaaaaaaaat’s Hollywood, folks. Here.
Political correctness is easy in Hollywood: adopt a politically acceptable cause (i.e., something PC), ignore the terrible facts, then worship it as pure: “…In Kingdom, for example, Jerusalem collapses under assault from the Saracen forces led by the legendary general Saladin. Saladin is shown to be a paragon of interfaith tolerance who offers medical assistance to his Christian opponent and spares Jerusalem’s Christian defenders – although the inconvenient historical fact is that the Crusaders were required to buy their freedom, and those who couldn’t afford it were sold into slavery…” Christians did the same thing. Here. The truth is all the players in the crusades–Christians and Muslims–were not people you’d want to share a beer with. The special problem with Islam today, of course, is that while the once barbaric Christians have been tamed, most Muslims still live in the Medieval world of literal religious interpretation.
I have no idea how well the comedy is sustained in this movie but it was about time someone made fun of Twilight crap. I just hope it’s halfway decent; I’m still recuperating from the totally UNFUNNY Meet the Spartans take off of the 300. Of course nothing will ever outshine the satire of airplane disaster movies like Airplane.
Nollywood–as far as bigness is concerned Nollywood ranks third in the world, behind Hollywood (#1) and Bollywood (#2). Nollywood Babylon (not to be confused with Hollywood Babylon) is the name of a documentary on Nigeria’s slummovies, movies not shown in theaters, of which there are very few in Nigeria anymore, but mostly sold on dvds at kiosks and booths in the capital of Nigeria’s massive slum districts in Lagos. The movies are made on the cheap, maybe a few thousand dollars, and usually completed within a couple of weeks or even days. In this documentary filmmakers Ben Addelman and Samir Mallal go behind the scenes with one of the biggest of the slum movie directors, Lancelot Oduwa Imasuen — aka “Da Governor. What are the themes? Religion, witches, sex, magic and urban culture. I watched this last night on Netflix’s streaming video (well worth the eight or nine dollars a month). In fact, I’ve become almost addicted to the number of instant watch videos at this service (includes TV shows and movies too), which you can play on your regular television (if you prefer that to your smaller computer screen), for example, via Playstation or Wii, etc.
Here are some other fascinating docs I’ve seen: Seoul Train: Independent Lens (about the plight of North Koreans fleeing the horrors of N. Korea, only to live a distressed life on the lam in China), The End of America (by Naomi Wolfe, about the dangerous excesses of Homeland Security under Bush), The Beauty Academy of Kabul (judging by the title this wouldn’t normally be something I’d be interested in but this turned out to be quite fascinating and inspiring), Loose Change (conspiracy theory about 9/11), Helvetica (yes, a documentary about the helvetica font), Islam: What the World Needs to Know (excellent interviews, source material about this very dangerous political movement)…There’s a ton more.
This trailer is from the above mentioned documentary. Type in Nollywood to get many more video examples on Youtube.
I don’t agree with everything Alex Jones (see Info Wars) says but I just watched The Road (I read the novel last year) and found his review of it pretty interesting.
Inception. For now never mind the storyline, I have to see this but I’m a bit jaded by poor CGI, i.e., CGI that doesn’t blend, the kind that ends up sticking out like a huge pothole on the Autobahn. Think of the cartoonish failure of CGI in, to use just a couple of eamples, I Am Legend, 2012, etc. For this kind of movie–sustained CGI action– the digital design must exactly mirror the visual reality of, in this case, the display of non dream reality. Sustained action CGI must be immaculate.
Related: Remember, CGI isn’t the only form of special effects– FXing it.
Name of the game: Some are witty, some are stupid, some are gross, some are downright boring (especially the longer they go on with the same four-letter sexual “variety”). One thing is for sure, insults are the easiest part of screenwriting, although the ones with alliteration quality take a bit more skill. What’s funny about the wild-eyed, spit-spraying insult is not so much the four-letter words themselves but the spewer’s loss of control, his total breakdown of his id cover. It’s like witnessing the riled up irrational R-complex manifesting itself through a mouth and forked tongue. Think of god when he found out Eve took the apple from the serpent: “you f-ing little bitch of a dumb shit MFing whore…what the hell did you do you dumb shitass bastard bitch f-er…”
By the way, speaking of insults you might want to check out the best insults of all–from Shakespeare (right here, knave)
I asked my lovely looking date if she wanted to see a movie. She suggested Eclipse. I said I’d rather be stretched out on a rack in the Spanish Inquisition with a masturbating priest dripping molten lead in my eyes and beating my testicles with an iron bar. She asked if I was anti religious. I said yes. She said I should go to church once in awhile. I said OK as long as they’re not playing Eclipse. She asked what I thought I wouldn’t like about the movie. I said I couldn’t stand watching a bunch of creepy teenagers with vampire powers turning into animals using awful CGI effects (I watched the trailer). Result? WANTED: teenage-hating atheist girl who likes film noir.
Tags: Japanese movies
“…To confound you even more, Satoko Yokohama’s erratic eco-dramedy Bare Essence of Life (…translates as Ultra Miracle Love Story) focuses on Yojin, an excitable young organic farmer who lives with his grandmother in the stark northern prefecture of Aomori and can’t quite be classified as mentally retarded. His eccentric behavior—uncontrollable laughter, quick flight responses, scheduling his day with a squadron of alarm clocks—comes out of his stunted, childlike logic. Enter mismatched love interest Miss Machiko, a kindergarten teacher who fled Tokyo after her boyfriend was decapitated in a car crash next to his mistress…” Looks interesting.
Tags: Beach Boys, Science Fiction, Surf Nazis, Troma
Have a Troma summer: Surf Nazis Must Die
Have a Beach Boys summer: Don’t Worry, Baby
The new Green Hornet movie looks like it could use a lot of dialog refurbishing, at least judging by this early trailer.
I haven’t seen Sex in the City (1 or 2); I just can’t get into that silly blather of fashioned images and what I suspect is a lot of dipsy (i.e., dippy/tipsy) talk. But somehow the movie has hit the Super Left’s phobics meter: Islamophobic, homophobic, multiculturalphobic (manphobic?), peopleofcolorphobic, sensitivityphobic, witphobic, goodtastephobic, etc… It’s left them salivating like Pavlov’s canine volunteers, to wit:
Hollywood.com: “…Before leaving Abu Dhabi, the increasingly loathsome quartet become involved in a mishap that ends with Samantha … in the middle of a busy town square, holding up a package of condoms, thrusting her hips and s houting, “I have sex!!!” as the Muslim call to prayer is sounded. Sex and the City 2 won’t win any awards (save for a few Razzies), but it could become an effective inspirational video for suicide bombers[.]…”
Huh? “I have sex” Suicide bombers? Well, Leftists are soooooo sensitive when it comes to their lovey-dobey support of culturally (and officially) designated oppressive gender apartheid systems today. When brutal fascistic “native cultures” from the dark ages are placed in the realm of multiculturalism they’re beautiful things of beauty and value.
Anyway here’s an article on this very subject from Big Hollywood.
The Arts council thinks probably not”…This film is unlikely to promote tourism in Michigan or to present or reflect Michigan in a positive light,” wrote Janet Lockwood, Michigan’s film commissioner. Ms. Lockwood particularly objected to “this extreme horror film’s subject matter, namely realistic cannibalism; the gruesome and graphically violent depictions described in the screenplay; and the explicit nature of the script.”…Read more here.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor
Here we go again. Can you believe Angelina Jolie is set to play Cleopatra in a new movie of Egypt’s queen (“Queen of the Nile”). Hollywood hasn’t grown up yet. Wasn’t it bad enough the incredibly beautiful Elizabeth Taylor played that role. If you’ve ever read about the real Cleopatra you know she surely approached hag status, at least as far as her mug was concerned (which is what we’re talking about here; I’m still doing all night research on her cleavage), though evidently one with a seductive smile (or something). The angular faced Anjelica Huston or even homely Lady Gaga (without the bleach) would’ve been a more accurate casting. See another angle on this story here.
THE REAL THING (?)
One account of her, in fact called “Cleopatra Was No Liz Taylor,” in the book An Underground Education, describes her this way, quoting Plutarch:
“Her beauty was by no means flawless [he's being very diplomatic here]…but anyone [and here's where that seductive smile or something comes in]“but anyone listening to her but a moment sensed her irresitible charm…her voice was beguilingly rich and sweet [I'm already getting turned on] and she used her tongue like a many stringed musical instrument [mercy, please].” *
*About that tongue…Richard Zacks (Underground Ed) relates a rumor of the time: “Rumors spread about…uses to which Cleo put her tongue, even a heroic night of servicing one hundred noblemen.” Now that’s talent (if true).
Update: Some history scholars say depictions of Cleopatra by white actresses, as well as images of her in the public mind (aside from the beauty issue) are inaccurate; they maintain that Cleopatra was not white looking. Tht sounds, on the face of it, a reasonable assumption. However, if you take into consideration recent DNA evidence from another Egyptian ruler, King Tut, the accusation may itself be inaccurate. See too King Tut unwrapped.
Film critic takes umbrage at the double standard: “… Oddly, though, for a film written by a man [Sex and the City 2], the critics’ insults were reserved for women, in a dazzling display of put-downs. Sukhdev Sandhu in the Telegraph sneered at the women for “all getting older” adding that Sarah Jessica Parker “looks like a cross between Wurzel Gummidge and Bride of Chucky”, while Miranda “looks badly embalmed”. In the Observer, Philip French ridiculed the “bitchy heroines” who enjoy “an orgy of self-pity” and described Carrie as “equine” (horse-like, people)… [quoting again] “These girls are so hung up on looking great they’ve forgotten there are several ways to be ugly.” The women are “greedy, faithless, spoiled, patronising . . . morons”. Samantha is a “blonde slut” with “the desperate mentality of the School Bike”, Miranda is “the ginger one”, Charlotte plumbs “the depths of her own venality” and Carrie is stuck in a “wind-tunnel miasma of selfish needs. Yuck.” The women behave like “materialistic whores”. Read the rest of this article here. The gist of this article is simply that men’s shallow movies (e.g., “Hot Tub Time Machine”), compared to women’s shallow movies, somehow get a pass. Maybe it’s because we assume women are more, at least generally speaking, more mature than men, somehow more intelligent.
Related: Just a question: Ever wonder why Lindsay Lohan–not my favorite person though I wouldn’t kick her out of my hot tub– is seemingly the subject of more court action and police scrutiny and publicity than say, there would be for Osama bin Laden if he were captured?
Tags: Raymond Chandler
No. your average jasper in the street didn’t talk like this. This was the vigorous earthy language of the private detective novel and films of the times. My favorite? The big sleep, i.e., death (Chandler).
Alderman: A man’s pot belly.
Daylight, as in “let the daylight in” or “fill him with daylight”: Put a hole in, by shooting or stabbing
Eel juice: liquor
Flivver: A Ford automobile
Glad rags: Fancy clothes
Have the bees: To be rich
Hop-head: Drug addict, esp. heroin
Iron: A car
Jasper: A man (perhaps a hick)
Knockover: Heist, theft
Lunger: Someone with tuberculosis
Lead poisoning: To be shot
Read hundreds more from a fantastic online book: Twists, Slug and Roscoes–A Glossary of Hard-Boiled Slang I came across this glossary several years ago and referenced it many times while reading Raymond Chandler’s books and other detective fiction of the time.
Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve been watching the new DVD editions of the Perry Mason series (I got hooked on these when they ran on TBS a few years ago). These shows have some great lines–to wit…”Faces? I don’t know faces. Faces are like cockroaches; they all look alike…”
“…It seems increasingly evident that Hollywood has been taken over by people who know and care very little about the movies themselves, but who live to target and promote formulaic, forgettable pap to an audience their studies say will pay for the privilege of consuming it…” Here.
Tags: Cynical, Dark, Film Noir
Just a note, I am a Raymond Chandler fanatical reader; everynight I read from The Big Sleep, Farewell, My Lovely. I read these works as intensely, as fervently as those fanatical Pakistani muslim students do in a madrassa school, kneeling on the floor swaying back and forth, with my forehead hitting the floor after each passage.
“The book (A Clockwork Orange) has three parts of seven chapters each. [Anthony] Burgess has stated that the total of 21 chapters was an intentional nod to the age of 21 being recognised as a milestone in human maturation. The 21st chapter was omitted from the editions published in the United States prior to 1986. In the introduction to the updated American text (these newer editions include the missing 21st chapter), Burgess explains that when he first brought the book to an American publisher, he was told that U.S. audiences would never go for the final chapter, in which Alex sees the error of his ways, decides he has lost all energy for and thrill from violence and resolves to turn his life around (a slow-ripening but classic moment of metanoia—the moment at which one’s protagonist realises that everything he thought he knew was wrong). At the American publisher’s insistence, Burgess allowed their editors to cut the redeeming final chapter from the U.S. version, so that the tale would end on a note of bleak despair, with young Alex succumbing to his darker nature—an ending which the publisher insisted would be ‘more realistic’ and appealing to a U.S. audience. The film adaptation, directed by Stanley Kubrick, is based on this “badly flawed” (Burgess’ words, ibid.) American edition of the book. Kubrick called Chapter 21′ an extra chapter’ and claimed that he had not read the original version until he had virtually finished the screenplay, and that he had never given serious consideration to using it.” The above synopsis is from here.
When civilization breaks down so too do the formalities
The question is being asked by some, is this horror movie, The Human Centipede, the sickest horror movie ever made? Well, as far as horror films go is there anything sicker or more nauseating than watching rotting zombies eat stringy gooey clumps of human innards? These kinds of movies are very common anymore, starting with that b/w one back in the sixties–Night of the Living Dead. But what makes one horror movie more “sick” than another? I guess it not only lies in the details of gore but in the unrelenting grotesque quandary of the victims, in this case, those done in by a truly psychopathic German doctor. Well, here’s the trailer.
1938: “Wild parties, lesbianism, and premarital sex…” Yes, They Must Be Told.
“…It’s an Irish space-alien sex comedy, except that in this case the alien, played by Simon Delaney, is actually a pudgy escaped convict wearing a red vinyl bodysuit and a bicycle racing helmet. He manages to sell himself as a space voyager to the innocent inhabitants of Ballymoran, and especially to the town’s women — all the town’s women…” Here. I wonder if it’s as good as “Giant Catfighters from Jupiter” or “Nazi Surfer Girls from Venus”–or even “Sex Villians in Black Leather from Galaxy Seven”?
I gotta watch this…
Tags: Angola 3
Background is here.
“…Kick-Ass is not alone. Right across the cinematic spectrum we are seeing a pernicious normalisation of the abuse and degradation of children. The burning alive of a child in the opening of the recent Hollywood vampire movie Daybreakers, for instance, or the killing of child zombies in the comedy-horror Zombieland, are once unthinkable moments that have become almost tedious. Everywhere you look in mainstream horror, demon children are being smothered, stabbed, burnt and kicked to death on camera…” Here.
Tags: Germany, Red Army, Soviet occupation, Soviet Union, World War 2
Red Army in Berlin 1945 (May- June): “When the soldiers came to the building, asking for girls, the older women called out: ‘Where’s little Gabi?’ and pulled her out from underneath the table…” Here.
Also on this subject of the horrors of the Red Army there is of course the diary A Woman in Berlin: Eight Weeks in a Conquered City by Anonymous. There is also a movie version.
Excerpt from the book*: “No sooner was I back upstairs then the concierge’s girl…came running in for the second time. More men in the basement. Now they’re after the baker’s wife…”
“Woman in Berlin” trailer
*This book was originally published in 1953 in Germany but the country was in no mood for war memoirs, especially of this kind so it fell into obscurity. It was over a half century later that it was republished, this time in its entirety), to international acclaim.
Airplane–most laugh aloud movie I’ve ever seen
Tags: Academy Awards, Movie trailers, s, Satire
You see, Henry Fonda does not like harmonica music and what makes matters worse, well Charles Bronson only knows one tune on his little mouth organ.
Watched this late sixties movie (120 minutes) last night on Hulu. It was supposedly once banned in France as a “danger to mental health.” Personally I don’t see the connection, but then again this is 2010. The best I can say is it’s a series of seedy vignettes about life in Hollywood. It seems to chronicle that period when society’s anti-sexual/anti-self expression fascade of hiding fantasized sexual or secretly indulged behavior began to give way–to drug use (LSD), topless fascination, long hair, hipster indulgence, and astral projection, etc. The movie’s intermixed with famous stars of the day as they descend their limos at movie premiers in typical overindulgent style. Oh and look for Ronald Reagan complaing in a speech that UCLA reeks of reefer madness.