TSA breast milk in a glass cage fiasco

“…….He said TSA wants me to play along with their horse and pony show and if I don’t then TSA can have the Phoenix PD arrest me! Well, I wanted to get home to my baby and my flight was 30 minutes from departure so I ‘played along.’ Three Phoenix PD watched in the background…I could tell they all knew this was a waste of their time but I was happy to have them standing by in case TSA continued to act out of line…  Here.

Uh-oh, satire merges with reality (in case you don’t realize it, that’s a bad sign)

Above: the satire

Below: the reality:

(Besides thanking the TSA, let’s also thank Islam, the Immigration and Visa authority, the anti-profilers, the U.S government, etc., etc., etc…)

Related: When in danger profiling is rational.

Related: I may never return to Israel (airport security in Israel).

Related: Why Muslims should be profiled:  Islamic education for the young (they’ll be boarding planes soon enough).

“Call for backup…I think we have a weapon here…I can feel it…”

Another legal question concerning airport security (TSA): if during a crotch check an aroused man (hey it doesn’t take much) gets an erection could that then be considered a club, and hence a concealed weapon?

“You tryin’ to sneak this club aboard, pal?… Call for backup! “

The Grand Banana Republic airport freak show continues…

"How dare you!!!!"

“Last Thursday I was flying to LA on the Midnight flight. I went through security my usual sour stuff. I beeped, and was shuttle to the ‘toss-em’ line. A security guy came over. I assumed the position. I had a button up shirt on that was untucked. He reached around while he was behind me and grabbed around my front pocket. I guess h was going for my flashlight but the area could have loosly been called ‘crotch.’ I said, ‘You have to ask me before you touch me or it’s assault.’ He said, ‘Once you cross that line, I can do wahtever I want.’ ” Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller) gets riled up over frisky hands. Here……Shhhhhh, Penn, here’s a hint for next time. All you have to do is dress as a Muslim woman, replete with veil and head covering and you’ll be ushered right through……FLASH HOLD EVERYTHING STRIKE THAT LAST SARCASTIC SENTENCE…coming in off the wires: TSA says it will NOT make exemptions based on religious beliefs…Islamic organizations up in arms (really mad, smoldering, hot under the burka, brimming with outrage…………………..Here’s a direct quote from a Somali terrorist just back from a religious training camp in Yemen, Why should we be subject to the same patdowns and body scans as infidels? Why? Tell us why.) Here. (Of course the big question is, will they stick to this policy. Well, we’ll see in a couple of weeks. But keep in mind, this is what happened in Canada.)

 

Life in the Grand Banana Republic: today’s episode–armed fascist 12-kopper pat down of petite (but hot) young woman whose only crime was she didn’t want her breasts twisted and crotch fingered with the cruel cold barrel of a gun by leering masturbating* TSA agents

The new Stalinism: airport “security” in the Grand Banana Republic.

*I made up the “masturbating” part; it may have happened afterwards of course, but it didn’t occur when they handcuffed her to a chair and screamed in her face and tore up her flight ticket (as far as I know).

Below: We’re actually at the point where satire has become reality

ATTENTION ATTENTION: Following the anal cavity and vagina search all women will secrete breast milk for liquid explosives testing.

Related: Body scans and genital pat downs

Related: Official TSA training video (a must see–another example of how satire has more or less become reality)

Related: Naked hiney and crotch syndrome

Related: Flight attendants say: hands off my privates

Related: Here’s the super irony in all of this: Though it’s because of radical Islamic terrorism we’re getting searched in the first place radical muslim groups are now advising muslims to avoid patdowns and full body scans on religious grounds. Figures. Read more of the super irony here. Here’s an example of how this works: because of political correctness run amok in Canada Muslim women there are allowed to circumvent security as they go through airports. Here. Yes, the West is getting very strange.

Homeland security:naked hiney (and crotch) syndrome

Homeland security agent of the TSA gawks at naked hiney (and crotch) shots: Her thoughts? Wow, I gotta save this for my screen wallpaper. But could there be other reasons behind saving  naked hiney shots? Here’s an article on the subject.

“I’ve been everywhere, man”

Leavin’ on a jet plane…

Imagine a once great country that has become so grotesque that three-quarters of its population would like to leave–and the sooner the better? Which country is it? Here’s a hint. The people speak with a “proper accent” and produced the Oxford English Dictionary. Their most popular wishful destination? Here’s a hint: it’s known as “down under.” Here.

The youth guide to airport security

Here

Red-Green-Blue

With the latest Muslim terrorist attempt in the sky the government has finally put in place sort of a profiling system by country. Tavelers to the U.S. from Yemen and Nigeria, for example, will be given a higher level of screening than travelers from, say, Sweden or Norway. Though the profiling does not specifically target Muslims (as it should) it’s at least a start… And so the controversy over profiling has been renewed.

Profiling makes sense. Just look at the easy logic of it: Imagine three groups. One wears red shirts, one blue, and one green.

It turns out that whenever airliner hijackings or bombings occur or at least are attempted the ones wearing red turn out to be the culprits. Neither a green or blue shirted person ever hijacks a plane, or rather, let’s just say that in 99.9 percent of the cases the latter two shirt wearers do not commit such a crime. Now without profiling red, green, and blue shirt wearers would be given the same level of scrutiny. Once on the plane and in the air, however,  you can be sure  passengers would be keeping their nervous eyes on the red shirted guys. It’s simply psychologically instinctual that they would do that. I would. It’s doubtful anyone would be worried about the guys wearing the green or blue shirts (well, at least 99.9 percent of their worry would be directed at the red).

A child has been kidnapped. Law enforcement knows that in 99.9 percent of such crimes people wearing green shirts are responsible. Again, since profiling by shirt color is verboten the authorities cannot concentrate their resources on individuals wearing green shirts.

Likewise, it statistically turns out (again, 99.9 percent of the time) that blue shirters are seriel killers, but police cannot especially concentrate their efforts on those in the blue. As with the previous cases it would be prejudicial.

Of course, in our examples those wearing red, blue, or green would be, legally speaking, of no more concern than people wearing any color shirt.

Airport Security on the ball: back room interrogation

ATTENTION ATTENTION: Following the anal cavity and vagina search all women will secrete breast milk for liquid explosives testing.

TSA (Transporation Safety Administration).

Travel fail

“…The Pyramids and Sphinx! I had believed, until we tumbled out of our coach, that they were located in the middle of the desert, miles from the nearest city or town. They are RIGHT next to Cairo and to be frank, boring, which may explain why there were so few people there. A massive let down to all of us on the trip made worse by the locals trying to force you to buy their wears – was little different to the antipodean chuggers on a British high street. The only upside is the history of both wonders. Reading about them is a lot more interesting than the visit…” (Don’t worry, the Grand Canyon isn’t much better.)  Here.

________________________________

Speaking of fail:  “Lowes, though having its fair share of disgruntled customers, is not the topper for bad customer service – it is beaten by Home Depot. When this customer wanted to complain to the Home Depot manager about a rude employee, the manager seemed to be worse! “After 10 or so minutes I asked where the manager was, the person behind the desk called again. At that time the so called manager Anthony called back, did not bother to come to the service desk just called and said, “What does the customer want”.” This Business Week article elaborates “The University of Michigan’s annual American Customer Satisfaction index shows Home Depot slipped to dead last among major U.S. retailers, 11 points behind Lowe’s.” Americans ranked Home Depot’s customer service as dead last, according to Steven Silvers. Home depot customers complain about the worst service they received from the company…” Here.

The dodo bird effect, or welcome to “coffin corner”

Well, like a dodo bird falling off a cliff,  it looks so far like Air France flight 447 went belly down, as in a vertical shaft. For those abaord it must’ve been beyond words–only screams. Here’s a take on the physics of  it, known as the coffin corner: “The coffin corner or Q-Corner is the altitude at or near which an aircraft’s stall speed is equal to the critical Mach number, at a given gross weight and G loading. At this altitude the aircraft becomes nearly impossible to keep in stable flight. Since the stall speed is the minimum speed required to maintain level flight, any reduction in speed will cause the airplane to stall and lose altitude. Since the critical Mach number is maximum speed at which air can travel over the wings without losing lift due to flow separation and shock waves, any increase in speed will cause the airplane to lose lift, or to pitch heavily nose-down, and lose altitude. The “corner” refers to the triangular shape at the top of a flight envelope chart where the stall speed and critical Mach number lines come together…” From Wikipedia article.

Euro vacation? Canada? S. Africa?…Not me.

The U.S. has a violence rate of 466 crimes per 100,000 residents, Canada 935, Australia 92 and South Africa 1,609.

Note: I don’t have the statistics in front of me right now but I believe most of these crimes come from Muslim immigrants.

American Eagle Flight 4518

“Wynn had a funny feeling about the commuter flight he was about to take because there was an odd-acting man sitting two rows ahead of him. Wynn had observed this man earlier at the airport, once in the TSA security line, and once in the men’s room adjacent to the gate. Both times, Wynn explained, “the guy was acting strange. He was rough looking, kind of like a hippie traveler, a 60-year old white male. He hadn’t shaven in a week. He was acting suspicious, he was real antsy. He had on linen clothing and house slippers—not normal shoes for a flight. Both times, I thought to myself, ‘I hope that guy is not on my flight.’” Read more of this account.

Those fabulous offsetters

Say what you will about them but you can’t say you don’t feel a tinge of sorrow, or at least embarrassment, for all those fabulously wealthy Greens–known to millions as the Global Warming Elites–who increasingly find their fabulous lifestyles staring down the muzzle of the internet itself, replicated with hi-res zoomable image loads on Digg or You Tube. It isn’t long before they find themselves suddenly having to engage in a rigorous defense of it all.

Case in pixel point: greenman John Travolta’s back yard. Every last blade of grass is online, but it’s all the stuff on it that causes the commotion. The man is telling people to conserve resources (he encourages his fans to “do their bit to tackle global warming”). but there it is– his Florida estate filled with custom jet aircraft–a 707, two or three Gulfstreams, a Lear jet–all parked along the neat golf course-like landscaping, somewhere near the huge swimming pool (though at first you might mistake it for Lake Okeechobee), not too far from the SUV fleet which is sort of intermingled with the Yankee Stadium class array of lighting equipment.

At first—from an overhead– the vehicles look like so many children’s battery powered plastic riders but then, well, no, those babies are real. The cars, the planes, the pool lake. But the aircraft! The man has a damn air force. John Travolta’s air corp could seriously jeopardize the governmental stability of at least thirty percent of the world’s nations. He could, I’m sure, wipe Peru or Guatemala off the map, that is if he were some megalomaniac like Dr Evil intent on conquest. But no, not to worry, this flying actor ace just likes flying big fuel guzzlers above the clouds. Evidently, he has a different plane for nearly each day of the week (notice how his house resembles an airport terminal).

John Travolta’s estate in Florida, showing a few of his planes.

Before the heavy duty hyper-linking raised awareness about such things, being an armchair green used to be like living and breathing in a hypocrite’s paradise. You could have your huge carbon footprint and eat it too. You could talk a good green old-forest talk and really feel good about yourself (and others about you) and your cause, but use as much carbon emitters as you wanted. Like Al Gore they could laugh at that spinning electrical dial on the outside of the mansion. No one was looking. Not really looking. But now not even the muscle bound green Arnold can use his gluttonous Hummer like some skateboard anymore.

In case you didn’t know the defense is called “carbon neutralizing”, an amorphous term which goes something like this (and this is just an oversimplified example, so allow for some latitude): Let’s say Arianna Huffington gets up in the morning and is flown in her Lear Jet down the street to Seven-Eleven for coffee and a cream cheese bagel. That’s a lot of fuel but, wait, she carbon offsets it. Dutifully, each night, she makes up for the fuel intake of the winged breakfast run by turning off maybe a couple of hundred lightbulbs in her home during the evening.

Of course the problem with this, which is something probably even the most dense dolt is now beginning to realizes, is that their carbon neutralizing always takes place within their own gluttonous context: their neutralizing only offsets one excess for another .

But you figure the Green Elites love their Lear jets and limos and Hummers, their mansions, motorized yachts and driveways and parking lots long enough to pave the whole country of Zimbabwe. The carbon offset is an essential mask on their hypocritical way of life. But with hyperlinking becoming more invasive by the moment carbon offsetting must become equally more sophisticated.  Environmentalists are more and more being called on the ecological carpet.

From the LA Times: “The Oscar-winning film ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ touted itself as the world’s first carbon-neutral documentary. The producers said that every ounce of carbon emitted during production — from jet travel, electricity for filming and gasoline for cars and trucks — was counterbalanced by reducing emissions somewhere else in the world.” How?

“Co-producer Lesley Chilcott used an online calculator to estimate that shooting the film used 41.4 tons of carbon dioxide and paid a middleman, a company called Native Energy, $12 a ton, or $496.80, to broker a deal to cut greenhouse gases elsewhere. The film’s distributors later made a similar payment to neutralize carbon dioxide from the marketing of the movie.”

Unfortunately for the Greens the sophisticated online calculating is no different than Ms Huffington flying down the block for a bagel in the morning and then turning off her lights. You see, the ever so sophisticated offsetting turns out to be “a ridiculously good deal with one problem: So far, it has not led to any additional emissions reductions. Beneath the feel-good simplicity of buying your way to carbon neutrality is a growing concern that the idea is more hype than solution.”

So what does it all boil down to? ” ‘If you really believe you’re carbon neutral, you’re kidding yourself,’ ” says Gregg Marland, a fossil-fuel pollution expert at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee who has been watching the evolution of the new carbon markets. “You can’t get out of it that easily.” But that of course is exactly what the jet set Global Warming Elites want to do.

 

Here’s an UPDATE.

Here’s the latest UPDATE (11/30/09).

Update:  Harrison Ford, another fabulous greenboy offsetter.