Rihanna bares breast in nature: but good news, blindness in the innocent was averted

Lo and behold, almighty ones,  Rihanna goes topless on farmer’s field while shooting video and causes rift in the fabric of existence. The stilted old farmer then came upon the scene of corruption on his land and disrupted filming and ordered the sexy singer off  in the name of God.  Nudity of course cannot be tolerated; it can cause blindness in innocent beholders (though God was merciful in this case; there were no incidents of reported blindness or sudden outbreaks of severe acne). Staring at bare breasts can also, so it is said, cause auto-ejaculation in crazy old cogs who have never experienced the fleshier aspects of  the natural world (except maybe for a cow’s milky udder), or at least can’t remember. Here.