…ENTER LARGE-BREASTED VIRGINS [STAGE LEFT]–
1st virgin: OMG did you see my new matyred husband?
2nd virgin: OMG yes!
3rd virgin: What did he carry–extra explosives?
4th virgin: Oh, Jesus Christ, he looks awful.
5th virgin: Yeah, good luck in bed…
6th virgin: That really shits.
7th virgin: What the hell is al qaeda sending us!
8th virgin: There’s only so many of us, girls, we can end up with a hundred of those each.
9th virgin: Yeah, it could get to be a real dilemma or somethin’.
10th virgin: Oh, stop complaining, girls.
11th virgin Looks who’s talking, your martyred husband only lost two arms, his feet and a liver down there.
12th virgin: Yeah, stop complaining.
13th virgin: Hell, two arms and a liver and a couple of feet only?
14th virgin: Yeah, I’ve met him; his other parts are intact.
15th virgin: At least what’ve you’ve seen…(snicker, snicker…)
16th virgin: Mine lost his torso and some other parts.
17th virgin: You’re still lucky, mine has no head.
18th virgin: How do you kiss?
19th virgin: That’s the problem; we have to get very creative.
20th virgin: Poor dear, and you’re so pretty.
21st virgin: My martyred husband and I don’t kiss either.
22nd virgin: Yeah, I’ve seen him (yuk).
23rd virgin: Can’t they use smaller backpacks and bombs?
24th virgin: No, they gotta use regulation size.
25th virgin: Damn it!
26th virgin: I don’t have a martyred husband yet.
27th virgin: You don’t?
28th virgin: No, she’s always alone. Can’t you see that?
29th virgin: Don’t tease her, girls, it’s not her fault.
30th virgin: Yeah, no teasing.
31st virgin: Well, dear, maybe you’ll get lucky.
32nd virgin: She will.
33rd virgin: Yeah, haven’t we all (heh heh).
34th virgin: Yeah, right (heh heh).
35th virgin: Oh, I hope our prospects get better.
36th virgin: What about those female martyrs we’re hearing so much about.
37th virgin: Why, don’t tell me you’d consider going lesbo…
38th virgin: Of course she wouldn’t…
39th virgin:Yeah, what happens to them anyway?
40th virgin: I heard they go to a different paradise.
41st virgin: This is the only one, deary. It’s here or nowheresville.
42nd virgin. Duh…
43rd virgin: Whatever.
44th virgin: Well, I bet they’re a real mess too.
45th virgin: Yeah.
46th virgin: Poor dears.
47th virgin: Well, you know what they say: You play with fire, you get burned by fire.
48th virgin: Who says that?
49th virgin: The Christians or somebody.
50th virgin: Jesus, I hate Christians.
51st virgin: Yeah, me too.
52nd virgin: Yeah, and get a load of that Pope guy.
53rd virgin: What’s that contraption he rides in?
54th virgin: Pope mobile.
55th virgin: Pope mobile?
56th virgin: Yeah.
57th virgin: Does it have a combustion engine?
58th virgin: Naw, I think he pushes it with his feet…
59th virgin: Yeah, like one of them Flintstone cars.
60th virgin: Exactly…great cartoon by the way.
61st virgin: Yeah, I have the complete DVD set. I love their pet Dino.
62nd virgin: Oh, don’t let You-Know-Who see it. Willma and Betty don’t wear much.
63rd virgin: Don’t worry, I have them hidden under my burka.
64th virgin: Cool.
65th virgin: You know what DVD set I wanna get? Desperate Housewives.
66th virgin: Which.
67th virgin: Desperate Housewives?
68th virgin: Yeah, I’ve seen it. It’s about these upper middle class American Christian wives.
69th virgin: I heard of that; it’s about them and their evil Christian husbands.
70th virgin: You know what, girls?
71st virgin: What?
72nd virgin: We out to make our own show…We can call it Desperate Virgins.
–EXIT LARGE-BREASTED VIRGINS [STAGE RIGHT]
